You're right, that's not pretty! LOL
I figured that may have been the case, however, I told her EVERY move that I made, I wasn't making alliances with everyone!!! She WAS my number one. And I showed her that whole PM I typed up to Lex showing how it was me, her, Lindsey, and Clarence. I don't know where she got the idea that I was getting alliances with everyone though! I never told anyone else they were my number 1!
Here's my thoughts on how things played out. I wasn't intending to play the game this aggressively so early. You can go back and read in my confessionals where I was just blown away by having to get so strategic this early. I was expecting to go in and enjoy my tribe and not have to make any big moves at first. I just wanted to chill. I did know that I wanted to nail down a good three person alliance from the get go though, and I did so with Mama Kim and Tom. And I figured oh we also need numbers in case we go to tribal. So I just started reaching out to people and being friendly. Since Frank, Linda and Kim P would never respond to any of my emails I got along with Clarence and Lindsey the most, so I figured they would make up our 5 (the majority). There were three parts to my downfall as I see it.
First, Tom comes along and says the other three were talking to each other and I kinda freaked at first. I mean I shouldn't have because it's not like I wasn't doing the same thing with him and Mama. But it was the fact that none of those three would even reply to any of my messages about small talk! I figured "oh they don't want to be friends even, let alone in alliance! they'll be problems later." And Tom told me Linda was playing really aggressively, seeking out everyone and I thought that she was probably the one who needed to go.
Second, Kim P sent me a PM after having hardly said anything to me the whole game. It felt like it was out of the blue. She said she had grown tired of her alliance of Linda and Frank and wanted to align with me. Well obviously since she hadn't messaged me the whole game, it seemed fishy. I didn't buy it one bit. I told Mama that she had contacted me and said all this, and I told everyone else in my alliance too, except Big Tom but that's because this kinda overlapped with the third part. So I figured at this point if Kim P was gonna play me, I would play her. I contacted both her and Linda and told them I wanted to join with them, just to get them off the trail. I figured they sent Kim P out to sniff around for info. And the thing is, I told Mama Kim all of this!!! Where was her doubt???
Third, Mama Kim mentioned to me that apparently Tom had been talking to Frank A LOT. Well I assumed that he was only going back to them and repeating everything we were talking about. I figured we were split 4 and 4. Again, way too much strategy that early!! Lex obviously was an asset. I was completely honest with him about everything, and from what others had told me. That's what irks me the most! I was going off of what other people had been saying! Not my own gut! I mean my gut told me something was up with the other three not responding to me, but I was giving them the benefit of the doubt until Tom started planting things in my head! And the same with Tom until Mama Kim's said he was talking to Frank.
I can understand how Mama Kim was annoyed with me the whole game, but if she reads this, I was annoyed myself!!! I thought we could play the game as a strong tribe at first but then I started believing everything people in my alliance were telling me, so I went into survival mode. Kill or be killed.
If I get to play again, I'm definitely gonna dial it down on the strategy. Let somebody else make all the hard decisions and coast for a while. I played the game honestly and to my alliance I was completely loyal unless I felt they were about to screw me over, like with Big Tom. I was definitely too trusting because it turns out even my alliance was lying to me. I can't blame my tribe for not knowing what was going on, I mean they aren't able to see my confessionals. So I don't harbor any ill will....at least not too much ;)
I still would like to see one of my alliance members win the game: Mama Kim, Tom, Clarence, Lindsey, or even Lex even though I didn't get to know him. But not Frank, Kim P or Linda, especially after those Tribal Council comments, how cruel!
Wow, this is much longer than I meant for it to be, but hopefully you'll get some good info out of it for fanfic :)