Lindsey wrote:I'm on my phone and cannot copy paste my opening statement from my confessional. Would it be too much to ask to ask a host to copy/paste my statement from there?
DISCLAIMER: I apologize in advance for how long this turned out. I wanted to cut it down, but I figured the length could be a positive and hopefully answer some of your questions beforehand.
Hello members of the jury! Let me start off by saying that I'm extremely grateful to be standing in front of you guys tonight and having the ability to plead my case and explain myself. I want to thank the hosts for allowing me to play this game and to all of the rest of you for making it the amazing experience that it has been. I didn't expect to get nearly this invested or enjoy myself so much. You know, I'd be lying if I said that I saw myself sitting here on day 1, day 10 or even day 25. But looking back, I'm proud of myself. Despite what happens here tonight, I can at least say that I am proud of the way that I played this game. This game has seriously been a huge pleasure for me.
I know I have told more than my fair share of lies over the course of this game, but that stops tonight. I promise you that anything you ask me, I will give you a 100% honest answer. If I somehow end up winning this, I want it to be because you know about the game I really played here. Lying about things I did or didn't do to get myself the win would feel like a hollow victory. So no matter what happens, I promise you frankness.
I think above all else, my gameplay was a balancing act. I was strong-willed, but I also knew the times where I needed to fall back and take direction rather than give it. I was strategic and tried to make bold moves (and mostly succeeded), but never made moves that were unnecessary or stupid. I was friendly and enjoyed talking to people - and I'm hoping these friendships can continue after the game as well - but I didn't let my personal feelings about a person get in the way of me voting them out. And perhaps most important of all, I was extremely driven and determined to succeed, but never too much as to take away from my enjoyment of the game.
I started this game in a 5 person alliance that consisted of myself, Linda, Frank and Kim squared. Immediately, we were all extremely put off by Diane, as she was playing really hard really fast and sent nearly everyone on the tribe PMs that were identical. Right before the Tribal Council where Diane left, however, I told her closest ally Big Tom that it was her going and there was nothing else we could really do to stop it. Big Tom thanked me for the information... Then promptly used it to throw me under the bus as soon as Diane was gone.

I was horrified, but at the end of the day I'm actually grateful this happened: very early on in the game, I was taught a lesson. I needed to be careful about who I was going to trust. During this time, Linda and I became extremely close and I also talked to Lex a lot as well about things not related to the game.
The swap happened and turned my game upside down. I was immediately thrown from a secure position in a 5-person majority alliance to a vulnerable member of the minority on a tribe full of strangers. Although looking back, given the mess that was NuTamanaco, getting swapped was a blessing in disguise. Immediately, I adapted to my new situation. I quickly struck up conversations with all four of the original Mariche members and quickly gauged that they were not going to turn on each other. So I did what any sensible person would do and threw my original tribe under the bus. I pretended like I was in the clueless minority on original Tamanaco. This might have been transparent, but at the end of the day I don't think it really mattered, as it was my social game that prevailed here. I chatted with all of the original Mariches constantly - particularly Gina and Patricia. And even though we didn't lose, I think if we had lost, I would have still been safe. The connections I forged on this new tribe helped to take me late in the game. IMO, the most sure-fire way to get people to like you, trust you and align with you in this game was to talk about things that had nothing to do with the game itself, and I did that moreso during the swap than any other time in the game.
And then we merged... And I actually found myself in a pretty decent position. I reconnected with my allies from old Tamanaco and also had allies from NuMariche to watch out for me. Already at the merge I was not content just sitting and waiting for things to happen. Linda and I reunited and she united her new Sean/Lex/Linda/Vecepia alliance with my new Patricia/Gabriel/Gina/Lindsey alliance to form an 8 person supergroup. Also, Kim J was pretty much the consensus boot from everyone (there was a movement to have the caciques be the first two boots) but something about it felt sort of... off to me. Kim J was an outsider, but I really did believe I could trust her. To save herself, she started the first of like 12581 attempts in the game to blindside Sean. I was all for it, seeing as I had met Sean for the first time that same day, but as soon as the word slipped to too many people and I knew it wasn't going to work, I jumped ship and did two things.
1. I ratted out the plan to Sean to try and curry favor with him. He was powerful and it's never a bad thing to try and get into the inner circle of the guy in charge.
2. I intentionally cast a stray vote for Sean at Tribal Council. I figured, who would suspect me of being the stray vote when I had ratted out the blindside plan to Sean himself and told most of my closest allies I was vehemently against it? By casting this stray vote, it cast suspicion on other people and indirectly raised my position on the social ladder. IIRC most people I talked to seemed to think it was Kim P. Sorry Kimmy!
And then... The crazy final 11 round. Or AKA "the round where Lindsey failed miserably at blindsiding Sean." But really, I don't like to consider this round a total wash for a few reasons. Despite how much I lied my ass off to Linda, the end result was the same thing I had been going for: get an idol flushed out of the game. Sean didn't go with it, but the idol still left the building. Also, Clarence left, whom I had been targeting anyway because he had made a final 2 deal with me on NuMariche and then we didn't really communicate much and I heard he had made other f2/f3 deals as well and he was hard to read. So all in all, I didn't get Sean out like I had wanted, but given the positive things that happened, I don't regret playing aggressively this round.
The next two votes were perhaps my roughest patch in the game. The Kim P vote was the only time I think I was truly blindsided by a vote. This was the round I started working closer with Sarah. I remember the day that round happened and I had picked up on how ridiculously quiet everyone was being so I kinda figured something was up. I was sad to see Kim P go because she was one of my closest allies at that point. However, this vote did bring Gina and myself closer, since we both felt as if we could only trust each other due to Patricia/Gabriel going behind our backs. And then the Vecepia vote... I think that was probably the second messiest round after the Clarence vote, as no one knew exactly what Pat and Gabe were going to do. You could say I lucked into surviving due to the vote split, however, I disagree for two reasons:
1. Sarah and I pretended to hate each other and however transparent it may have been, part of the vote splitting plan relied on us voting for each other. Sarah did vote for me, but I still voted for Vecepia and saved my ass partially due to this lie.
2. The only reason Pat and Gabe had flipped the round previous in the first place was because Kim P didn't talk to them. By this point in the game, I was communicating with both constantly and reaffirming my allegiance with them. I don't believe either would have voted me out the way they did Kim P.
The fallout from the Vecepia vote propelled me to the end game. I think this was the round where the game truly changed for me and I really became entrenched in a position of a power due to a combination of distrust due to other people's flip-flopping balanced by the fact that I was one of the very few people in the game to have not lied or flipped during the two previous rounds, earning me trust from people I never really saw myself working with in the first place (Sean) or ever again (Linda). From the final 8 onwards, every vote went the way that I wanted it to - each round having someone I considered a massive threat voted out. I'm not trying to say that I controlled the game or everyone in it, but I think I was crucial in forming the boot order of the second half of the merge. At top 8, Sean and I began to work together and everyone was kinda on the same page about wanting to blindside Patricia, as she was a huge threat, and wanting to get rid of Sarah, as she was a beast in challenges and unpredictable strategically. Sean and I were afraid of trusting each other. I was afraid of booting Pat first and giving him numbers while he was afraid of booting Sarah first for the same reason. After Sean convinced Lex to flip his vote back to Pat at final 8, I strongarmed Lex into voting Sarah by threatening a purple rock if the vote tied and also by making him trust me. I kept my word to Sean and Lex and voted Sarah and then Pat without screwing them (even if I hadn't been thinking about voting Pat before that round, I still would have due to the fact that she tried getting rid of me at her boot TC). Also, at the beginning of this round, Gina informed me about the idol she had been hiding from everyone since the merge.
Top 6... Was a bit of a mess. I think my only true regret in the game comes from this round. I had earned Sean's trust and I let him get inside my head about the idea of Gabe/Linda/Lex sticking together at f5 and booting myself and Gina. I had a bit of a meltdown at Tribal Council and let paranoia take control of me, but in the end I'm glad that Gina didn't play her idol in time because everything ended up turning out okay for me. At the final 5, Gabriel approached Linda and I with the idea of a final 3 deal between us as I think all three of us saw ourselves as having the best chances at FTC against one another. Originally we were supposed to vote Gina out first because she was better at challenges than Lex. However, I realized this was an awful idea for me personally - if Lex won final immunity, I'd probably be fucked. So I used this opportunity to make a move for my own security. Intentionally, I waited until right before Tribal Council. Then I messaged Gabriel laying out the case for why booting Lex first made sense from his point of view: he was the bigger jury threat and in a final challenge that was almost certain to be endurance, past challenge performance really wasn't a factor. Gabriel agreed with me and ended up voting Lex. I left Linda out in the cold. I knew she would still vote for Gina and in case Gina did win final immunity the next round, it would then be easier to get Gina to vote for Linda. After TC, Linda was fuming and I played it off like it had been a complete accident and lapse in judgement - but really, I was taking an extra step to make sure I wouldn't fall just short of final 3.
Final 4 was the easiest and hardest round of the game. By some random twist of fate I won immunity. I won't deny I got lucky with that one. It was easy because I did know I was going to vote for Gina and I knew it had to be done if I wanted to maximize my chances of receiving votes at FTC. But it was also the hardest vote of the game because I felt genuinely awful about casting that vote due to how close Gina and I had gotten in terms of being allies and also friends.
And now... I'm here! I'm not very confident about my chances tonight, but I hope you can all at least give me a chance to receive your vote. I'm open to absolutely any questions you have for me, and as stated before, I will answer with 100% honesty. Thank you all for this opportunity and good luck to Gabe and Linda!